Faded From The Winter

I'm probably one of the only people this would happen to, but I overslept and missed my train down to Tokyo - which was a 2:25 PM train! It wasn't a problem at all because I could just get on the next train, but it was still kind of embarrassing. I of course have an excuse - I was awake for pretty much 36 hours straight and needed sleep pretty desparately. Still, that's pretty sad.

Being back in Tokyo actually feels pretty good right now. It feels kind of like coming home - comfortable and family is around. I think this will be a pretty good thing for me.

Today's lists: Top 5 Bittersweet Moments of 2004

2004 was a very bittersweet year for me. Here are the most bitterly sweet things that happened:
(5) Summer ends - When summer first came around, I dreaded it: it was going to be a long and meaningless gap in my life between college and my post-college plans. Sort of a professional purgatory. Only it turned out to be an amazing summer - I worked at Nordstrom (which was really, really bizarre all things considered) and met some great people from all walks of life and got to see some sides of So Cal I hadn't before seen. I made amazing new friends (one in particular), reunited with old friends, and hung out with current ones. I spent quality time with my family. I refocused before what I expected to be the biggest adventure of my life. But when that adventure came, I wished I had had a little summer left.
(4) Staying in Japan through thick and thin - I made myself a promise before coming here that I wouldn't go back to the U.S. unless something really huge happened since I have to leave Japan early to start work next June. It has been hard, even though I've only been here 4.5 months - and this last month was probably the hardest, not least of all because of the holidays. But I think it's been good for me - to be able to face things without running away and to see things I normally would never get to see.
(3) Allowed to postpone work for Fulbright - Back in May, my firm gave me a gift I had rarely had before in my life, something that had previously caused me a lot of frustration on more than one occassion - I got to have it both ways. Do Fulbright, keep my job. It couldn't have been a better situation. But how could one of the happiest moments of my young life also be sad? Because I had to give up starting work with some great friends and risked coming back a year later and a year behind, possibly less well-equipped to do the dream job I was assigned to. Do I regret it? Of course not. But I still worry about it sometimes.
(2) Graduation - In any other year, the most bittersweet moment of them all for little ol' sensitive me, graduation was the definition of bittersweet. Despite Penn graciously giving seniors a week to party and say goodbye, it passed in a blur (often a drunken blur) and left me downtrodden for about two weeks. I was definitely ready to graduate, but it was hard to say goodbye to the people and the place I call one of my homes, even after wondering if it was the right place for me to be for so long. Even as I write this, I would be willing to give a lot to run to my friend's room one more time, make one more Wawa run, roll out of bed late to grab a Hemo's, or even stay up studying in Huntsman with my favorite study partner.
(1) _____________ - this one is too private to write about here, but most people who know me decently well should be able to guess this at least half right. People who know me REALLY well might be able to guess this completely right. A hint is that it isn't one moment, but a collection of a few moments, moments that involve a realization being made. And the moments aren't all connected. Haha, maybe it's impossible to guess. I can't even figure it out, and I know what it is.