Schedule mishaps.

It's been over a week since I've updated. Time is running out very quickly here in Japan. Only 7 weeks or so left. In accordance, I've been keeping a busy albeit screwed up schedule. Why screwed up? Because I can't fall asleep at night or wake up during the day. But I have been: studying for severals hours a day and dancing for a few hours each night. "Eh? Dancing?" you say? That's right, I joined the dance club. For those of you laughing at me, I don't give a shit - it's fun. It's the best thing I've done at Tohoku for sure. I joined intending to do hip hop, but instead I've been doing popping, locking, and breaking which are all much more fun and cool-looking in my opinion. I have a ton of new friends now as a result, especially Hidetoshi (who we all call Lupan because of his sideburns), and it's been pretty much the biggest part of my life recently. I wish I had joined earlier.. shit.

The club is mainly guys with about 6 or 7 girls and everyone is really freaking impressive. The best part about dancers in Japan is they are loyal to styles and learn the fundamentals really solidly for each style (at least at my school?) even when just screwing around in a club like this. As a result, everyone turns out to be much more capable and consistent (unlike the people in Strictly Funk at Penn, who just kind of suck in retrospect). Also, it was said a few days ago that if you watch pop groups dance after learning the fundamentals t's difficult to look at it because they just learn choreography and not the fundamentals - and it's true, they are even more unforgivably terrible than I previously thought (at least here in Japan - but I can't imagine the guys in Backstreet are much better).

This past weekend, there was an event at a club that I had coincidentally been to two years ago when Akira spun drum and bass there, and it was a ton of fun. I met some new people, danced around a lot, drank, and watched the kids from my club dance during the showtime portion. And yes, it went all night long. On Saturday, Takako had a tako-yaki (hmm how to explain this.. fried balls with octopus in them? just take my word for it that it's really good) party at her place and invited the usual girls (Hina and Mayumi) + their friend Haruna, who I had never met before. Masayuki had to work so he couldn't come; and then Haruna left early followed by Mayumi. So with just the three of us, Hina, who is an excellent drinker, and I finished off Takako's bottle of bourbon and started in on the serious love life talk while Takako watched a history show about Egypt. I'm thinking that next time I'll invite the ladies over to my place and cook them Tacos (get it? Tako-yaki party followed by Taco party? yeah? no? okay.) ... Besides I have all these taco ingredients left over someone sent to me and I have to use them for something.

Then on Sunday the international club called for some unknown reason "@home" had hanami (picnic under the cherry blossoms), so I went down to that and met even more people. With the recent events, it's been good to meet new people - it helps a lot and reiterates to me that there are more good people out there to meet (and I think by now you know what kind of people I'm referring to when I say "people" during this entry). Not that I met any GREAT people, but they were good enough to restore lost hope. Unlike Sunday night, when I was home alone with nowhere to go, nothing on tv, and no ability to focus. That night was a hope crusher.

The recent news has been covered in bad things - the Chinese demonstrations (which in my opinion are absolutely over-the-top and ridiculous, though the Japanese government should show more remorse in its actions rather than just words) and yesterday's train crash. It's pretty sad and shocking that a train would derail in this country's usually safe and consistent transportation system. I blame it on the idiot driver who apparently had only been driving for 11 months.

Sleep time.

Had A Great Fall

I woke up this morning from a horrible dream that haunted me all day. It involved all the things you might it expect it to and more. Not a good start to the day.

My room is a mess of suitcases, clothes, and my own mental entanglements (dramatic but true) so I decided to get out and check out this one class that some kids suggested I try that is about Japanese linguistics. Well, it was incredibly boring so we won't be going back. But after class one of the Korean girls in class came up to me and asked me to hang out with her for a few hours to kill some time. She had asked me before but we didn't hang out, and she's kind of cute and nice enough so I said sure. Well as with many things like this, it wasn't what it was all cracked up to be. She of course asked me to teach her some English since that is her major, which is fine. But then she started turning (1) batshit crazy and (2) incredibly Christian on me. She basically strung together a bunch of things you don't tell someone the first time you hang out with them. At first she wouldn't stop talking about how this other korean girl who is also her sempai snubbed her because she has some English superiority complex and now she wants to take out revenge on her. And then she told me she cries everyday because she's not good enough at english. And that she cried yesterday thinking about this Russian guy who rejected her (huh?). And if that isn't crazy enough fun for you, I also had some suspicions she was the korean girl that keeps inviting people to church, but I wasn't sure. Then I became even more suspicious when I asked her what her hobbies are and she said she has none. And I asked her "Why? You have no interests in anything on the planet?" and she answered "You do? Why should I be interested in anything on this planet? We all die anyway. And that makes me sad. There is nothing in this world that matters." Hmm that phrasing is fishy sounding, right? (get it? fishy.. Jesus Fishy. ehhhhh moving on) ... Well now it has been confirmed. She invited me to this Bible Convention in Tokyo during Golden Week. Then she offered to pay for my ticket to go to Tokyo with her (keep in mind this is a girl who can't afford to pay for a cell phone). Then she told me the bible kept her from killing herself and that she doesn't having any power to do anything without the bible and cries all the time. I don't think I'll be hanging out with her alone anymore. I have enough problems.

I then grabbed dinner with Taiga quickly and he gave me a ride back home on the back of his scooter (fun and scary as hell at the same time) so I would make it home in time to get my FedEx packages from my firm. Enclosed? My paperwork and a check for [undisclosed amount]. Yay. Signed and done.

Tonight on Japanese TV I saw two weird things: (1) Sanma, huge comedic figure and host of a million shows, actually hosting two different quiz shows on two different channels at the same time. It was crazy. Granted, all celebrities in Japan appear on shows on every channel (one huge difference between Japanese TV and American TV) and occassionally appear on two shows at once, but this was definitely the first time I've seen someone hosting two shows at the same time. (2) And then there is this commercial for this hair implant company called Hair For Life that features these dramatic pictures of men against a blank background tugging and washing and cutting their implanted hair while this militaristic and triumphant music plays in the background and a voice over says over each man's segment of the commercial "Kore mo hair for life". Well I saw a political commercial tonight for the Minshutou (Democratic Party) that seemed strangely familiar: dramatic footage of men in similar poses with the same exact militaristic and triumphant march song playing while a voice says "Watashi mo minshuto". It is ridiculous and subconsciously associates the Democratic Party (the one that is NOT Koizumi's party) with questionable methods for hiding baldness. Not so flattering. Either the Minshutou hired the dude from Hair for Life to make this commercial and he only comes in one flavor or someone at the media relations dept. of the Democratic Party has been watching too much golden time TV and needs to be fired for falling asleep at the wheel of his own consciousness.

Distractions and disruptions

This weak (get it?? intentional misspelling masquerading as a mental slip?) my Tokyo hiding keeps stretching out farther and farther. I was supposed to leave a few days ago but I just said screw it and stayed. The last few days I've been trading e-mails with you-know-who (okay maybe you don't know who) and hanging out with the relatives. The last two nights have been out of control - out with Shinji and his friends, all of whom somehow either decided to visit this week or just moved back to Japan from the states this month, and all of whom lived in LA at some point. Let's have a recap of the schedule - Friday night in Shibuya at this bar that is a terrace overlooking the city, drinking from 10-1, then off to nishiazabu to eat amazing kogashimiso ramen, and then good ol' Muse until 4 AM, at which point Allen and the British girl started talking philosophy. The three of us went to Wall Street to drink.. and I finally went home at 7 AM REALLY tired. I somehow woke up on the train just in time to not miss my stop. Then after much sleeping and eating, I went out again with the same crew, this time in Ebisu. Last night was tamer, but just as long - we were eating ramen in Ebisu at 4:30 AM. I met this girl named Kelsey who has been friends with Shinj since high school and whose dad also went to Dorsey High (like my mom) which was crazy.

So going out and getting crazy in Tokyo made me feel a lot better, and I met a bunch of Japanese-American kids from LA who live in Japan now, which was nice - you know, to spend time with people I have something in common with. I needed to get my mind off of things.

Now I need to get off my ass and go back to Sendai. Where I'm actually paying rent.

A fake smile is still a smile.

I'm back in Tokyo, which I ran away to Monday night after reading one e-mail too many and being disappointed in my VCR's ability to tape all of mechaike. Sadly, Monday was the first day of the semester, meaning I'm also being a bad student by being this chickenshit. Tokyo has been unexpectedly cold and rainy. With the rain, many of the recently opened cherry blossoms have been washed to the ground (they were set to fall of this week anyway), making a mess that is not a far stretch from the ridiculous waste of both paper and hole punching labor that those mischievous "confetti eggs" at St. Martin's Oktoberfest were when I was a kid. They say tomorrow is supposed to be warm again, and I wish more things had to do with the temperature and amount of sunshine than just the weather; at least the things I like to imagine are connected to it. Because if the weather report is to be trusted then ... haha how are those last few sentences for vague and unintelligible.

I spent the last couple days shacking at Akari and Chiari's apartment, a building whose frightening flimsiness I only noticed for the first time this trip. I'm pretty sure it was built from balsa wood and heavy poster board. Akari and Chiari were wonderful hosts as usual, working around their school schedules to hang out with me and staying up late to talk - which is the reason I came back in the first place. I also spent an evening with Rie, and got to watch a little TV with her at her apartment too, the first time in over a year I really just relaxed with her. Well, yeah, the first time since before all that started. Ha.

Some notes on music this week. First, on Sunday I blindly tripped into a portentous bad mood while doing my laundry that lasted through my outing with Takako + friends (none of whom seemed too interested in talking with me) and adjusted my musical selections thusly. With the developments of Monday those songs of sadness/self-loathing and betrayal/angry declaration (my forte, really) have slid firmly back at the top of the iTunes rotation and were rearranged into yet another mix (this time requested by Akari). This set of songs, which of course has expanded a few numbers since the last time it was in heavy use, is becoming like the old veteran all-star of my musical collection - used in so many different line-ups, not as exciting as those new kids on the team but always a sentimental favorite, and reliably clutch in tight spots.

Previous to the turn in mood of the last few days, I had been listening to this playlist of about ten songs. One of the songs was "Decent Days and Nights" by The Futureheads, which I mainly started enjoying because the video for it is a brilliantly accented performance piece that caught my eye while watching mtv2 in a lounge in High Rise East at Penn. I was never really able to understand the hype of The Futureheads - they seemed like just another British stab at Gang of Four-style danceable rock come too late; heck, they even went so far as having that one guy from Gang of Four produce the album. And I still don't really understand it. But at least Decent Days and Nights is a killer song; well, except for the beginning part, which always sounded lazy and lame too me, especially next to the punchy chorus. And I wished they would recut it just slightly to fix the beginning. And they did - and exactly the way I was hoping they would. It now rifles out of the gate and is one of my favorite songs of the year.

Oh yes, and then Sufjan Stevens. So the guy claims he's working on an album for every state in the union, and has released one so far (Michigan) that was excellent; but come on, that was almost two years ago, so unless he plans on some major medical advances in the next 100 years in the very specific field of "preventing Sufjan Stevens's death", I think he better get his ass in gear. But putting the logistics of it all aside, it was announced that the next state is being released on July 5: the album is simply titled "Illinois" and among some very long, runny song titles featuring ridiculous clauses hastily taped together with commas is track #9, simply titled "Chicago". What is the start date for my job in Chicago? Yeah, that's right July 5. Oh the coincidence.

And then yesterday while waiting for Rie, I was looking around at the Disk Union in Kunitachi and I found an album I've been looking for for about six months now: Night Piece by Tokumaru Shugo, a one man "band" who makes the kind of increasingly prevalent bedroom laptop pop that combines foundsound with some real instruments and vocals. I was pleasantly surprised by what I got for my money. The album clocks in short at under 26 minutes, but the guy shows a tremendous amount of restraint for the kind of music he makes - he actually maintains pop structure to the songs and keeps the songs under 4 minutes. The sound kind of reminds me of the guy I was just talking about (Sufjan Stevens) and also the Books. There's a lot of whispered, delicate singing, sample-looping (or at least it seems like it), clicky perscussion, and guitars/ukeleles/mandolins/etc. As is becoming increasingly common, the sound is not placed easily in any particular genre, and breathes with influences that feel like they range from Japanese pop to American bluegrass to European children's television programs to Disneyland. But maybe I just watched too much Nickelodeon during my summer vacations growing up (do not adjust your web browser settings - that was indeed a thinly veiled reference to David the Gnome). It's a good album, but good luck finding it anywhere. I couldn't find it anywhere and it's a Japanese album.

Whoo. I feel like today I wrote better than I have been writing lately. I guess sometimes bad experiences can pay immediate dividends for some things. Okay, so this blog is a pretty meaningless something, but it's a start right?

End.

I'm growing out my hair like it was when I was single
it was longer than I'd known you
I had no money then I had no worries then
at all
but with such a high standard of living I just feel like I am dying
I would start an argument but you can barely even talk
but there is good reason for your silence
you have to take care of some business
so I fix your plate and I stay out of the way
and you will stay like that forever
right in front of your computer
you'll look up one day but you won't recognize
me

so now you want a change -
you read a letter from a lawyer
want to take me out to dinner
want to bury me under a mound of shopping bags
like it would really make a difference
or make up for your disinterest
I'm a bill you pay I'm a contract you can
break
and it is like I'm under water or on an endless escalator
I just go up and up but I don't ever reach the top
and it reads just like the bible - twenty centuries of scandal -
I guess it all depends on how you interpret it
the word is love?
the word is loss
the words are damaged goods
that's what I am
a lifetime gets chalked up to an
experience
coincidence
we are chained to the events
but that's it
(desaparecidos)

Home, in a sense.

Let me begin by apologizing for the quality of this blog going to shit. I have no idea why I don't update often and why when I do update the writing is horrible and boring. Hopefully it will fix itself soon. Anyway...

I've been busy ever since getting back to Japan. To start with, the plane ride back confirmed that Japanese airlines beat American airlines in every sense except for price (when you actually look at what you're paying for, even that is arguable however). The service, food, people, amenities, and SEATS themselves are better designed and executed. On the American Airlines flight (featuring a possibly gay steward who spoke horrendous Japanese and a bunch of fat lady stewardesses who spoke no Japanese) I watched "Warai no Daigaku" starring SMAP's Inagaki Goro, which unexpectedly turned out to be a movie about World War II era free-speech in the midst of Japanese-Government censors. What was touching about the movie was not the cinematography (there were only about four sets used) or the acting (it was fairly mediocre), but rather the fact that it subtly portrayed individual rebellion directly in the face of the government during the war.

When I got to Narita, I got to skip a ridiculously long line at customs because I'm a resident alien. Instead of waiting 45 minutes, I passed right through. Then, since I flew business, my baggage also flew "premium" so my bags were literally among the first five bags to arrive at the claim. I was out in no time. I lugged my heavyshit back to Tokyo, slept at the Shimizu's a night and then headed to Kobe for what amounted to one of the most expensive 3 day periods of my life. It went as follows: arrive in Kobe and eat, drink, and karaoke with Fulbrighters before sleeping at Jonathan's house; wake up and eat expensive cut of Kobe beef for lunch; board train for Kyoto and view half-opened sakura at kiyomizudera before getting on the shinkansen with John Kim again for Nagoya; de-train long enough to meet up with Anna and her fiance and to eat Miso-katsu IN the station before getting on the train again to head back to Tokyo; sleep overnight at the Shimizu's while John Kim wanders the streets (his choice); wake up and go to Ueno Park with John to view the Sakura, which are now in full bloom; board the Shinkansen for Sendai; arrive, go to apartment to rest, eat gyuutan for dinner; sleep; send John Kim back to tomakomai by ferry. Finally rest.

So I dropped ridiculous amounts of cash since getting back to Sendai; oh well, i'll be working soon so i guess it's okay. Yesterday evening I intended to tape all of the mechaike special, but my tape turned out to be 30 minutes too short. I couldn't watch the whole thing because I went out with Taiga. Today I hung out with Takako, Mayumi, Hina, and Masayuki (drinking on a Sunday night! The night before Spring semester starts no less) and I saw Takako's pictures from Australia. Looks to me like she made some kind of boyfriend while there since she had these pictures in her camera of them only wearing towels and making out. I kind of feel like she wanted me to see those pictures for some reason. Maybe to show me she had lots of foreign-style fun while away?

I have two months to complete everything I came to Japan this year to complete and I have very little confidence that I will be able to do that. Here's to hoping I find away. Cheers.

It's true to me.

I am in on my plane back to Japan writing an entry to drop into fistful upon arrival in Tokyo. (yes my tickets to the States were comp’d and yes they were Business Class) I somehow did not write a single update the entire time I was here. I had a pretty eventful two weeks in Philly and Chicago. I guess the thought that comes most immediately to mind is that I feel as though I’ve forgotten every bit of Japanese I knew. Of course it should flow back as soon as I hit Japanese soil and spend a few days immersed again, but it kind of sucks the speed with which my brain switches back to English.

Philly was really a great time. It was pretty weird being back at Penn as an alumni and having to be signed into every building and to see how the ways Philly has changed and Penn has changed (South is painted some horrible color; there is a new bar and a new cereal restaurant) just in the time since I graduated almost a year ago (!!!). I spent most of my time at Hyunjoo’s place in High Rise East doing graphic work for the Fulbright manual that I am in charge of designing, laying-out, and editing, and otherwise just traveling around campus and Philly seeing people. It was great to see a few of my old professors, though I feel like I may have annoyed JoPark, one of the best damn English professors at Penn for my money, by acting fairly ridiculous with WINDOW during a guest speaker event she invited US to that I found completely unintelligible. Friedel introduced me to a place in South Philly with phenomoneal cheesesteaks I had never been to before. I’m still not quite sure I understand why Philly has managed to develop a sustainable competitive advantage in cheesesteaks but I'm not complaining. The best part of the week and a half was definitely the time I spent with HJ running around town shopping and eating and just relaxing on campus. We had an OK meal at Pasion, this over-priced Latin fusion place in Center City known for its “ceviche”, which is basically citrus-cured Latino sashimi. It wasn’t as spectacular as the hype, though our bill was as spectacular as the hype.

Mom came out to Chicago to help me in my apartment search, which after some fruitless and half-hearted attempts at developing a list of interests over the internet basically became us wandering around the neighborhoods I had targeted (River North and the Westside of Gold Coast) and walking into every building we came upon. We stayed in the Four Seasons on Delaware and Michigan and we had a huge room with a living area and bedroom. It wasn’t as nice as the Peninsula Chicago, a hotel that has basically ruined all hotels for me for the rest of my life, but it was certainly good enough. For example, at the Four Seasons you are not able to watch TV, take a bath, and talk on an intercom phone all at the same time like you can at the Peninsula. How disappointing. Anyway, I’m really glad Mom came because as I expected (1) she knew better questions to ask than me, her perpetual dormlife son, (2) she has an unquenchable thirst for building walkthroughs, and (3) she gets excited about looking at floor plans. So it ended up coming down to about three buildings in Gold Coast, all with varying rents and amenities and sq. footage, but I decided in the end on an older building that was a bit cheaper and bigger. Every single person who lived in that building had the same complaint: the elevators are too slow. We’ll see how that and the other option I gave up (having my washer/dryer in the room) to live with the slightly cheaper rent and bigger but older rooms works out. I was pretty excited to get the place because none of the buildings I liked had any immediate availability that matched what I was looking for and I’m leasing for June, so I basically would have to join waitlists and cross my fingers. But I walked into the building to check on my last morning of hunting trying to make a decision between the places and the largest-sized one-bedroom had opened up that morning so I snapped it up immediately. Oh, and I should comment that the most annoying thing about searching for apartments is that I got that “this kid can’t afford to live in our building” attitude from a couple of the management people. One was rude and seemed entirely disinterested while I was looking around the building, even going so far as to suggest other buildings to me without me asking, and another one automatically assuming I wanted a studio without asking what I was looking for. I think that these people, whose entire career it is to get people to pay too much money for something they will never own, should never make assumptions about people that walk in their door. If I get passed their price quotes and ask to see an apartment, assume I can take the place. And never make assumptions about what I’m looking for based on my appearance. That’s bullshit. And yes, those women each worked in the buildings that I DIDN’T sign a lease with.

I had an enjoyable and all around interesting time catching up with the boys from my hiring class last year that I skipped out on to go on Fulbright. My new class is pretty cool – no real complaints – but I don’t really know anyone yet. I did get to know one person in the class as well as I could in about the one day we had to hang out (hello Qian) and I think we’re going to be very good friends. But otherwise, we’ll have to wait until June to see.

Right now my biggest issue is probably feeling very much in the work mindset that has displaced me from Japan and Fulbright. But now I’m going back to Japan again and going back to work on this stuff that doesn’t feel all that important anymore (not that it ever felt incredibly urgent, but even less so now). I will readjust quickly I’m sure, but right now my Fulbright thesis is not something I want to have to worry about at all. I guess that’s a good thing and a bad thing, huh?