Everytime you close your eyes

The last 12 hours were rough. For one thing, I had drinks with my friend tonight who is leaving Chicago, and what was supposed to be a warm farewell turned out to be a cold argument about not being smart enough, not being a good enough person, and being greedy. She cried. There were a lot of negative things said. People have been leaving Chicago at a rapid pace recently.

When things suddenly turn bad, you naturally want to turn to the person who makes you feel more secure and happier at these times. But there isn't a lot you can do when that person tells you she doesn't think she should talk to you anymore. And today of all days. After work, I instinctively reached for my blackberry to make the call. But I put it away without dialing.

For the first time in 4 months, I felt inclined to listen to sad music today.